Monday, February 23, 2009

Losing job, that is.

Since being back from my honeymoon/vacation I have basically lost my job. I write "basically" because things are still up in the air, though I am sure it is over.

The confusion began when I called in sick for a shift (about 2 hours before my short 3 hour shift began), and then received a callback from one of the managers. I was not feeling well, and was emotionally exhausted, so I let it go to voicemail. I later listened to the voicemail and the manager did not sound happy. He was pretty much yelling in the phone saying such things as, "you are being disrespectful to your co-workers [for calling in sick]..." and, "...all your shifts will be cancelled for at least the next two weeks...". I understand why he would be frusterated, I had been calling in sick off and on for about 2 months (damn cold/flu, IBS and migraines, and added stress!!). However, this was the first negative thing I had heard from anyone at work. All the managers knew what was going on with me, and they had told me many times to "Take care of yourself", and, "Don't worry. Just get better!". Managers had said they were " worried about me!" and one manager even gave me a hug. Needless to say, when I recieved such a harsh call from a manager (whom I rarely deal with) saying my shifts were being cancelled, I was a little taken aback. Since then, I called that manager back and stated my concern and confusion (on his voicemail) and I have not since heard from him. The new schedules came out and my name was still on it but, there was not a single shift scheduled. So, I am a little confused as to what to do now.

My husband, Jeff, and I had talked about my quitting and working on my writing, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. However, I just cannot seem to shake the feeling of fear that my writing won't make any money soon, and that I (and possibly my husband) will feel as though I am taking advantage of the situation and not contributing to our lives.

I suppose the best thing I can do then is to quit and just focus on the writing. The sooner I really sink myself into it, the sooner I can begin to make a little cash at it. Every writer needs to start somewhere, right? Still, the whole idea gives me a feeling of nervous-excitiment, or is it nervous-fear? I can't seem to tell the difference.

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